Yardsale CL ads

[Craptacular001]

So... This is one of my favorite times of the year... This is when we have our annual yardsale, except this year it is a moving sale. This is also the time I list our CL ads for the yardsale... Keep an eye out all week for these! You won't be disappointed!



This is one you will tell your children about.. this is also one you will tell your children's, children about! ..... wait... ................so you will tell your children.......... as well as your children's children, also known as your .........grandchildren!... OK..... Good... we have established you will tell your children and your grandchildren.. however!... it will not stop there! You will also tell in your feeble old age a tale of fantastic deals and incredible finds to your grandchildren's thuggish friends, who will nod to your face and behind your back call you a liar. They will pelt your grandchildren with large stones found on the playground's perimeter for the "obvious lies" that your experience has brought and felt the need to impart to these ruffians... This is how epic this particular yardsale will be! Your decedents will be ridiculed by your tales of triumph!

Some of you may recognize our style of CL ad, and you will undoubtedly rejoice in the fact that we are having another yard sale. To you fine folk we welcome you back. Just for a reminder.. my wife and I have a rule.. if we don't use something for a year it needs to go away. This year is different...
This year.... we are moving out of the state! While that means that you will not have this yardsale experience each year it does mean that you need to mark your calendar for this one!!!!

The depth of the amount of items and category of items that will be sold at this yardsale is as vast as the English Channel!!!

While many may claim it... there is something literally something for everyone at this yardsale... More will be revealed over the coming days/weeks keep an eye for our ads... you will recognize them...

We are scheduling this earlier than we want.. but it will kick off the yard sale season! Sat April 25th I want to see you here! Currently we have no rain plans... but... undoubtedly we will make something happen!

[karni-Collector]

Lol, reading all that kinda got me hyped, or maybe the redbull just kicked in
anyways
Subscribed!!!

[Craptacular001]

I will spare you of tonight's... It was Benign.. However here was tomorrow's!

This morning, at 4am I heard loud repeated knocking at my front door. Instantly awake with adrenalin pumping I ran to the front door in my boxer shorts with a baseball bat clenched in my hands. I screamed, "who is it!!?!" and heard a muffled reply "It's Tom. . . your neighbor from across the street. . . please help me" I unlocked the door not knowing what to expect. The door swung open suddenly and in limped a wet, disheveled man. With the bat ready to strike I gazed at him and almost immediately recognized him as my neighbor.. We haven't really spoken since he moved in and he awkwardly introduced himself by knocking on my window fall down drunk at midnight a month ago. I could already see that this morning it was different. . . He seemed older. I didn't realize he had grown a beard.. I thought I saw him yesterday and he was outside yelling at his step son for letting the dog off the lead. Was there a beard?

He looked up at me and asked "is it really you?" with a smile creeping across his bearded face. . . Behind him entered a little person with a hat that looked like Napoleon's and what I can only assume was Red Beard the Pirate. I looked at Tom and asked rather abruptly "What is going on? Who are these people?" He said forcefully "Never mind them. . .. Do you remember your Epic Moving Sale?" This stunned and confused me. "Tom, what do you mean remember it? We are having it this weekend." This declaration increased his fervor. He looked vacantly at his hand and counted off his fingers. Suddenly he stopped and yelled "AT LAST!!!!"

At this point I noticed that his leg was bleeding like he had been shot. "Oh my god Tom!" I exclaimed, "are you OK?"

He grabbed me hard by the shoulder and looked me right in the eyes "12 years ago. . . no wait 7 years ago I. . . we. . . were fighting the machines. . . when we found a way to end it. . .. We could end the war!" I was dazed, was he really this drunk? He eyes told a different story, they were as cold and sober as a winter rain. "We found it, the device that would wipe out all those grease buckets. There was only one problem. The device required some sort of proprietary power cable.. One that I recognized from your Epic Moving Sale from 7 years ago" he stated.

"What are you talking about?" I yelled as the small person and Red Beard opened all the drawers in the kitchen and living room. "Our Epic Moving Sale is this Saturday!" I screemed "What do you mean 7 years ago?" he took one step closer and glared at me. " I have been sent back. . . to the past. . .. to find you and this Epic Moving Sale. I have been traveling from time to time in different people's body's and solving their problems along the way. This is how I ran into these two" he said pointing to his compatriots. "You and I will be brothers in battle in another two months when the. . . the.. event happens.. " he said almost mumbling to himself.

Then suddenly overcome with a new energy he shook me, "Where is your bin of cables?" he shouted! "Do you have it? Is it here?" He was obviously overworked so I didn't mention the fact that I didn't know if I was selling that yet. I led him to the garage and showed him the plastic bin. He dug around for a few tense minutes and let out a howl, yanking a cable from the pile! "This is it! I will head back and. . ." he trailed off running out the garage side entrance door and with a flash of light that looked like a lightning strike on a clock tower he was gone. Confused and bewildered I noticed that our other guests had pilfered the kitchen and were gone as well..

Since there was no way I would be going to sleep again tonight, there was nothing to do but make signs on neon green and pink posterboard signs for our Epic Moving Sale.



So there you have it folks. . .. This is an Epic Moving sale that will save the humans from the machines! All you need to do is be here and buy some stuff and you will be the hero!.... or. . . you will be the one that the time travelers come to. . . either way, Win!

[Nuke]